I wrote this a few weeks ago, but somehow forgot to post it.
Here I have less control of my life than I have ever had before. I must rely on other people more than I have since I was a child, leaving me to feel ignorant and idiotic at times.
Most importantly I have learned that I must rely on God to get thorough the darkest times. No matter how strong, confident, and cheerful you are, the hard times WILL come.
Over time I have become ok with all of these things. I have realized that I am not an idoiot because I do not understand. As long as I make my best effort the people around me will understand. This is all they expect. They know that I am out of my element and that I have every right not to know what is going on. Different culture, different language.
Here I am towards the end of my time here and I have gained a different sense of confidence. I have learned that sometimes it is ok to just wave my hands and to say whatever. Having control over certain scenarios and situations is not so important. Sometimes it is better to sit back, relax and chill. This would be a good time to point out how important it is to let go and let God. I have been reminded multiple times that if we just surrender what we are doing to God. We cannot fail.
My confidence is found somewhere deeper than it was before. I am now comfortable and confident in a new land. Where, yeah I still dont understand half of the things that go on around me, and end up zoning, but that I am confident and content. There is only one way I could get to this place, and that is with the Lord.
Now I understand. Being a student missionary is no picnic. This year has had its fair share of challenges and sacrifices. But I regret nothing. The reward has been great. I look forward to seeing what this year has reaped when we all get to heaven.
Here I have less control of my life than I have ever had before. I must rely on other people more than I have since I was a child, leaving me to feel ignorant and idiotic at times.
Most importantly I have learned that I must rely on God to get thorough the darkest times. No matter how strong, confident, and cheerful you are, the hard times WILL come.
Over time I have become ok with all of these things. I have realized that I am not an idoiot because I do not understand. As long as I make my best effort the people around me will understand. This is all they expect. They know that I am out of my element and that I have every right not to know what is going on. Different culture, different language.
Here I am towards the end of my time here and I have gained a different sense of confidence. I have learned that sometimes it is ok to just wave my hands and to say whatever. Having control over certain scenarios and situations is not so important. Sometimes it is better to sit back, relax and chill. This would be a good time to point out how important it is to let go and let God. I have been reminded multiple times that if we just surrender what we are doing to God. We cannot fail.
My confidence is found somewhere deeper than it was before. I am now comfortable and confident in a new land. Where, yeah I still dont understand half of the things that go on around me, and end up zoning, but that I am confident and content. There is only one way I could get to this place, and that is with the Lord.
Now I understand. Being a student missionary is no picnic. This year has had its fair share of challenges and sacrifices. But I regret nothing. The reward has been great. I look forward to seeing what this year has reaped when we all get to heaven.