Well, another week has flown by. It is so crazy how quickly yet slowly time passes. I cannot believe that I have already been here for three weeks. At the same time I have not really thought about how long I will actually been here. "I will be gone for a little more than nine months," is a sentence that came out of my mouth so fluidly. It is only now that I realize how long nine months actually is. So much can happen and change in this time period.
The way things are currently going leaves me to feeling content. Yes, I have had my moments where I am asking myself what I am doing here. But God has also given me the answers.
For example, last Wednesday I was feeling discouraged about my ability to witness to my students. Though I know I have not been here long and those things should not be rushed, I still felt like I was missing opportunities. Once again I was sitting in my lesson and the topic of alcohol came up. I listened to my student talk about how people from Norway have strict rules on drinking. Many students from there come to Poland and drink like crazy. I shook my head and said that was too bad. In my headed I scolded myself for not saying that I don't drink. But in all honesty the timing didn't seem right. As the lesson neared its end, we discussed the topic of future plans. My student told me that many people are stuck in their ways. The have to finish school so they can continue on to the perfect career. I told her I used to be like that too (because I did). Taking a year out of school to do anything "extra" was not a part of MY plan. I then told her I am a Christian and that I believed that God's plan was for me to come to Poland. So that is why I am here, and I couldn't be happier. She agreed to this. Someone is watching all of our paths, as she put it.
My next test came later that same day. The previous week in Gościno had been awesome. But this past Wednesday proved to be more of a challenge. I asked myself how I was supposed to be tutoring little kids who don't understand my simpleist instructions? Yes they are so smart and adorable, but I felt as though I was running out of things to do with them. Honestly I was feeling very defeated. I felt like if I couldn't lead a tutoring session there was no way I could lead a class. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself (and a few encouraging words from my director Tom and friends back home) I had a revelation. Of course I can do this, but in no way on my own. I must rely on God. He brought me here and is not going to leave me stranded in failure. Rather He is going to give me the tools I needed to succeed. And sure enough. After a Polish lesson and adventure (which included my first trip to a Polish resturant) with Norman (an older man volunteering from Australia) I went to the office to pick up books. You have no idea how exciting this was for me. Honestly these books are the tools I needed to feel confident in my ability to teach. Not only did I get books for my classes, but I was also able to pick out some books to use with the children in Goscino.
Friday brought another interesting challenge. Mock teaching lessons....as you can imagine I was not excited. "What if my lesson is awful and I really don't know what I am doing after all?" Well I had nothing to worry about. I believe that my lesson was a success and I actually had a lot of FUN teaching the material.
On Sabbath I made a new friend. Her name is Sarah, not only does she speak English but she is close to my age. I love being friends with everyone but it is always nice to have someone you can so closely relate too. We went to the countryside in the afternoon and had a lovely time playing charades. She even translated some of the conversation that was going on around us. That evening it eas time to play volleyball. Though I am not a pro, I can say that with each week I am getting better. My team one quite a few games with only four players.
Sunday was an interesting experiance. I had the opportunity to help out at a health expo. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to because it involved waking up early on a Sunday morning. But then I reminded myself that I am a student missionary and that I am in Poland to serve. Plus I knew I would regret missing an opportunity to get out of the house. Nice and early some church members and I got into the van and headed to a city about two hours away. Things were organized and we headed out to the area where we would help with the expo. I worked with Kuba (another younger person who is becoming my friend) and we tested were in charge of testing people's lung capacity....I think. I felt kind of bad that I couldn't tell the people what to do. Kuba tried to teach me what to say to them in Polish but it was too difficult. So I smiled, read the numbers people blew, and recorded the results. Towards the end of the afternoon it started pouring and we all got soaking wet. It was time to go back to the church where started. Once there I had a little too much time to think. I thought about my friends back home and how they would soon be starting another school year. I thought about how much I missed being able to understand the simple conversations going on around me. But the thing I missed the most was always knowing WHAT is going on. I like to be independent. I don't like having to rely on translation. There is a burning desire inside of me to do things on my own. I wanted to cry, but my lack of desire in causing a silent scene stopped me. Then my rational kicked in. Being in another country is a blessing, and my frustrustrstion can be converted into a greater desire to learn the language, to adapt to the culture. My desire to be independent is both a weakness and a strength. It is good to want to do things on my own, but I must realize I cannot do anything without the help of God. I want to be dependent on Him, and being here is going to continually push me towards that realization. Also, though I should never fully depend on humans as I should not fully depend on myself, I should be able to gracefully accept assistsnce. To realize that they want to help me and they are here for me in many ways, including to help me undersrand. They want me to feel as though I belong, with my lack of understanding, cluelessness in what is going on and all. They realize that I am still new here and trying my best to adapt.
And here I am today, once again having spent the day in Koszalin. This morning I had a student who was probably in his late thirties early 40. The lesson started and I couldn't wait for it to end. "What on earth am I supposed to talk to him about?" I thought. Little did I know God was working hardcore in this conversation. It started with small talk and got real fast. We were talkinhg about diet and being a vegetarian. He asked why and I explained that it was inpart for religious reasons as seventh day adventists have a health message. "Ah religion," he said. At that moment I knew our conversation was about to get interesting. He asked me what I thought about ISIS and also terrorists. I told him I didn’t understand why they could hate my country so much, but that I believe the God I believe in would not want them to kill. Also, that the God I believe in would want us to respond with love, as hard as it may be. He seemed to appreciate what I was saying. I asked him if he was a Christian and he told me he was Catholic. He told me that he thought the rest of the world should help bring education to the middle east. I very much enjoyed my talk with this man.
During a break in lessons I went with the director of the school in Koszalin to her parents house for some food. It was very delicious. Often times I find myself feeling full with a lot of food still on my plate. No matter how my stomach feels I try to finish it, sometimes even praying that God will help. It seems rude to leave food when these people have gone out of their way to give me food. After this we went to a shop to make copies for lessons. There I saw some toilet paper that was colored yellow and pink. It reminded me about a question that had come to my mind previously. The toilet paper here in Poland is very different than at home. Often it is colored, or at least has colorful designs. I asked Karolina why this was. She told me that during communist times all of the toilet paper was gray. Now they make it pretty just because they can. This was a very interesting conversation to me. Though communism is not currently happening in Poland, I have more than once heard people talking about it. The history is so interesting and I am soaking up every word that is shared with me about it.
The rest of my day flew by as it was full of lessons. The topic I chose for today was friendship. Something we all know about and can value, no matter where we are from, what we have experienced or what language we speak.
The way things are currently going leaves me to feeling content. Yes, I have had my moments where I am asking myself what I am doing here. But God has also given me the answers.
For example, last Wednesday I was feeling discouraged about my ability to witness to my students. Though I know I have not been here long and those things should not be rushed, I still felt like I was missing opportunities. Once again I was sitting in my lesson and the topic of alcohol came up. I listened to my student talk about how people from Norway have strict rules on drinking. Many students from there come to Poland and drink like crazy. I shook my head and said that was too bad. In my headed I scolded myself for not saying that I don't drink. But in all honesty the timing didn't seem right. As the lesson neared its end, we discussed the topic of future plans. My student told me that many people are stuck in their ways. The have to finish school so they can continue on to the perfect career. I told her I used to be like that too (because I did). Taking a year out of school to do anything "extra" was not a part of MY plan. I then told her I am a Christian and that I believed that God's plan was for me to come to Poland. So that is why I am here, and I couldn't be happier. She agreed to this. Someone is watching all of our paths, as she put it.
My next test came later that same day. The previous week in Gościno had been awesome. But this past Wednesday proved to be more of a challenge. I asked myself how I was supposed to be tutoring little kids who don't understand my simpleist instructions? Yes they are so smart and adorable, but I felt as though I was running out of things to do with them. Honestly I was feeling very defeated. I felt like if I couldn't lead a tutoring session there was no way I could lead a class. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself (and a few encouraging words from my director Tom and friends back home) I had a revelation. Of course I can do this, but in no way on my own. I must rely on God. He brought me here and is not going to leave me stranded in failure. Rather He is going to give me the tools I needed to succeed. And sure enough. After a Polish lesson and adventure (which included my first trip to a Polish resturant) with Norman (an older man volunteering from Australia) I went to the office to pick up books. You have no idea how exciting this was for me. Honestly these books are the tools I needed to feel confident in my ability to teach. Not only did I get books for my classes, but I was also able to pick out some books to use with the children in Goscino.
Friday brought another interesting challenge. Mock teaching lessons....as you can imagine I was not excited. "What if my lesson is awful and I really don't know what I am doing after all?" Well I had nothing to worry about. I believe that my lesson was a success and I actually had a lot of FUN teaching the material.
On Sabbath I made a new friend. Her name is Sarah, not only does she speak English but she is close to my age. I love being friends with everyone but it is always nice to have someone you can so closely relate too. We went to the countryside in the afternoon and had a lovely time playing charades. She even translated some of the conversation that was going on around us. That evening it eas time to play volleyball. Though I am not a pro, I can say that with each week I am getting better. My team one quite a few games with only four players.
Sunday was an interesting experiance. I had the opportunity to help out at a health expo. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to because it involved waking up early on a Sunday morning. But then I reminded myself that I am a student missionary and that I am in Poland to serve. Plus I knew I would regret missing an opportunity to get out of the house. Nice and early some church members and I got into the van and headed to a city about two hours away. Things were organized and we headed out to the area where we would help with the expo. I worked with Kuba (another younger person who is becoming my friend) and we tested were in charge of testing people's lung capacity....I think. I felt kind of bad that I couldn't tell the people what to do. Kuba tried to teach me what to say to them in Polish but it was too difficult. So I smiled, read the numbers people blew, and recorded the results. Towards the end of the afternoon it started pouring and we all got soaking wet. It was time to go back to the church where started. Once there I had a little too much time to think. I thought about my friends back home and how they would soon be starting another school year. I thought about how much I missed being able to understand the simple conversations going on around me. But the thing I missed the most was always knowing WHAT is going on. I like to be independent. I don't like having to rely on translation. There is a burning desire inside of me to do things on my own. I wanted to cry, but my lack of desire in causing a silent scene stopped me. Then my rational kicked in. Being in another country is a blessing, and my frustrustrstion can be converted into a greater desire to learn the language, to adapt to the culture. My desire to be independent is both a weakness and a strength. It is good to want to do things on my own, but I must realize I cannot do anything without the help of God. I want to be dependent on Him, and being here is going to continually push me towards that realization. Also, though I should never fully depend on humans as I should not fully depend on myself, I should be able to gracefully accept assistsnce. To realize that they want to help me and they are here for me in many ways, including to help me undersrand. They want me to feel as though I belong, with my lack of understanding, cluelessness in what is going on and all. They realize that I am still new here and trying my best to adapt.
And here I am today, once again having spent the day in Koszalin. This morning I had a student who was probably in his late thirties early 40. The lesson started and I couldn't wait for it to end. "What on earth am I supposed to talk to him about?" I thought. Little did I know God was working hardcore in this conversation. It started with small talk and got real fast. We were talkinhg about diet and being a vegetarian. He asked why and I explained that it was inpart for religious reasons as seventh day adventists have a health message. "Ah religion," he said. At that moment I knew our conversation was about to get interesting. He asked me what I thought about ISIS and also terrorists. I told him I didn’t understand why they could hate my country so much, but that I believe the God I believe in would not want them to kill. Also, that the God I believe in would want us to respond with love, as hard as it may be. He seemed to appreciate what I was saying. I asked him if he was a Christian and he told me he was Catholic. He told me that he thought the rest of the world should help bring education to the middle east. I very much enjoyed my talk with this man.
During a break in lessons I went with the director of the school in Koszalin to her parents house for some food. It was very delicious. Often times I find myself feeling full with a lot of food still on my plate. No matter how my stomach feels I try to finish it, sometimes even praying that God will help. It seems rude to leave food when these people have gone out of their way to give me food. After this we went to a shop to make copies for lessons. There I saw some toilet paper that was colored yellow and pink. It reminded me about a question that had come to my mind previously. The toilet paper here in Poland is very different than at home. Often it is colored, or at least has colorful designs. I asked Karolina why this was. She told me that during communist times all of the toilet paper was gray. Now they make it pretty just because they can. This was a very interesting conversation to me. Though communism is not currently happening in Poland, I have more than once heard people talking about it. The history is so interesting and I am soaking up every word that is shared with me about it.
The rest of my day flew by as it was full of lessons. The topic I chose for today was friendship. Something we all know about and can value, no matter where we are from, what we have experienced or what language we speak.