I feel as though I have reached an awkward stretch in my journey as a student missionary. This is because by the end of the week, I will be able to count the number of full weeks I have left here on one hand. Yes friends, my time in Poland is drawing near to an end. You may ask how that makes this an awkward time. Well, it is because the end seems so close yet so far away. Every day I find myself thinking of home and longing to be there and the time I have here seems like a lot until I really think about it.
In life we are faced with three different periods of time: the past, the present and the future. It seems as though we should learn to master appreciating all of these. I am so thankful for my past and everything that has brought me to where I am today. The future is very exciting for me as soon will be a reunion between me and my loved ones. Currently the present has me feeling confused. I am so thankful for the place where I am and the people that I am with. I need to make a conscious effort to live in the present. Home is consistent for the most part, and it is a place I know I will always come back to. But who knows if I will return to Poland and if I will ever see some of these people again.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about “mixing things up.” I wrote a blog about it a month or so ago. During this time I have found it so important. The life I have lived here has been so great, but I feel as though it got very routine. Our God is great and He knows what we need before we even ask for it. I think this week He knew how much I needed a change from the normal pace of life here in Poland. Sunday started off with a new adventure, a bike ride. This may seem very simple to some, but to tell you the truth I had not ridden a bike in probably a year. It was so cool to see this place from a different perspective. My friend and I rode bikes for probably three or four hours and saw experienced our city as I never had on foot. Something so simple brought me such great joy! The next break in the cycle came on Tuesday. Once again it was something as simple as having a few students cancel their lessons. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my students. But it was great to live Tuesday in a different way with a little extra free time to enjoy the sun (YES we have been having beautiful weather here). Wednesday was the day I realized how much God answers our prayers even before we ask. As you may remember if you have read my previous blog posts, I really enjoy my Wednesdays in a small town called Gościno. Rather than teaching in classrooms I teach in homes. My determined and crafty student finished one of her English books this week. At the end they presented the idea of creating a bee craft. So of course we had too. It was fun doing something a little different in our lesson. Later in the afternoon I found out that I would be teaching one of my students outside. This was music to my ears, as our English book was not holding her attention. It was awesome to see Gościno from foot rather than by car of home windows. When I returned home on Wednesday night I was feeling a little down. Home and friends were on my mind and I was tired of being lonely. Rather than sitting inside, I decided that I would take advantage of the sunny evening and go for a walk outdoors. Next to my home is a river that runs down into the sea. One side I have explored many times, while the other I had never explored. What a perfect opportunity. On my walk I enjoyed the view, but I also found my mind thinking of home. Thoughts of loneliness found me once again. More than once I have found myself alone, and not because I wanted to be. It was at that moment I realized once again how much I value people and community. I truly am a people person, which is why being in a land where I can verbally communicate with few has been such a learning experience for me. Towards the end of my walk I also remembered that I am never completely alone. God is always by my side and He will always get me through these moments. At that second it was time for me to cross the street. I turned my head to check that it was safe to cross and I saw one of my friends from church. She was on her way home from work and invited me along to spend the evening with her and her family. I couldn’t help but smile to God. He heard my cry even though I had not managed to make it a prayer. It was a physical reminder that He will never leave me feeling too alone.
The clock is ticking and there are many people and things that I will miss about my time here. I need to look embrace the few moments that are left. These are all moments that are making this place special. At the same time I have realized more than once this year that there is truly no place like home.