Well, this month has been one for the books. I can say that it has been the toughest month I have experienced as a student missionary so far. However, if I could have a do over on this month I wouldn't. It seems as though we are offered the greatest opportunities to grow and to learn when we experience life's struggles.
During our missions classes back at PUC, we were told that there comes a time when all student missionaries come across a low point in their journey. Of course we were told that when and how long depended on the individual and the circumstances. Generally speaking this happens around December as it is usually a time for families and traditions. I was able to get through this time without a second thought, as I was blessed to be around some friends from home. January flew by as only a week and a half after returning from Christmas break we were on winter break for another two weeks. Having made it through 5 months with little upset, I thought I was home free. I believed that this so called low point was something I would not have to experience.
Once I returned from winter holiday the emotions hit, and they hit hard. Not a day went by (for probably about two weeks) that I didn't break into tears for a good portion of the morning. I found myself feeling extremely lonely, stressed, angry and also a bit ill. These emotions mixed all together are very overwhelming. Each day I thought about how long it was going to be before the day ended, much less the year. I lost interest in things I enjoyed and was not even motivated to eat very much. So you could say, I was in a small state of depression. In addition I felt as though I was no longer making an impact here
Feeling hopeless, I found myself drawn to spend more time in God's word! I knew that no matter how I was feeling He could truly help me out. It is amazing what those words did for me. After spending time with God I was able to get through the rest of my day with little problem. I started to feel more positive about the time left. During this time I kept saying that I just needed to make it until the spring. God presented Poland with an amazing gift of SUNSHINE. Even though it is still winter we have been blessed with some great vitamin D filled rays of sunlight. Events happening back home also reminded me of how important our lives are, and how we need to live every moment to the fullest. Rather than thinking about why I was sad, I started to find little things about each day that I could get excited about. From seeing certain students, to thinking of places in town I could visit I felt joy come back into my life.
Though hitting a low point is not something I am particularly found of, I am thankful for all parts of this journey. If it wasn't for this period in my time here, I would not have been reminded of how crucial God is to our over all well being. He is SO powerful and so strong. Life and everything in it have nothing on our great God! During my study I found a few Bible verses that I found very encouraging. Isaiah 43:2 reminds us that, yes we are going to go through hard times, but that God is going to see us through each step of the way. Joshua 1:9 reminds us that God has called us to be strong and courageous. God is on our side, and no matter where we go He is continually with us. He does not want us to give up or give in, He is the ultimate fighter and with Him we cannot be destroyed.
I can say in full confidence that my hope, joy and strength have been restored. Of course I still long for the great days of summer when I will be reunited with friends and family back home, but I have also returned to cherishing the days that I have left here.
God has shown me in a few ways during the past month that I am here for a reason and that He is using me to make a difference. During this month I have learned that it is ok to not always be aware that you are making a difference, but what a blessing to be reminded. In one of the classes I have been substituting for, I had the opportunity to talk with them about God. These moments are golden. Although teaching that class on top of all the other classes I have was quite stressful, God showed me that He had me teaching them for a reason. This week there were a few hiccups in which I was unable to get some materials I needed for a class. I didn't find this out until a few minutes before class was to begin. For a moment I was angry and slightly panicked, but then I was reminded to pray. I asked God to help me with the class and to help it go smoothly. The work I am doing is God's work and He is in control. This being said, it will not fail. My class went just find and I was remind that I need to trust in God. As I am allowing Him to use and work through me, what happens in the class room will not end up a disaster. Time with students has reminded me of how much I care about them, and also that they care about me. All of this means that we have had an impact on each others lives. That not only have they impacted me, but that I have also had some sort of an impact on them. I have created relationships that I hope will last for an eternity.
Yesterday I was talking with the director about the people who were coming next year. It is crazy to think that the time I have here is racing by. I want to make sure that I cherish every moment and opportunity I have left with the people of Poland. Though I may be able to visit in the future, this is truly a once in a life time opportunity. God has truly had a part in orchestrating this year. Each little thing happened for a reason, to enjoy or to learn a lesson over. I have been greatly blessed to be a part of something so beautiful. There are about three months left in the school year. Three months left to continue making a difference in the lives of these individuals.
No matter where we go in life we can make a difference. We can let God work through us. It is important to not forget that He is in ultimate control. No matter what the circumstances, everything is going to work out and we are going to be ok. I truly hope that I have made a positive impact on the lives here. This experience is one I will never forget, and I hope that they will remember me and our friendship. I hope that they are able to see Jesus in me and that they will never forget HIM.
During our missions classes back at PUC, we were told that there comes a time when all student missionaries come across a low point in their journey. Of course we were told that when and how long depended on the individual and the circumstances. Generally speaking this happens around December as it is usually a time for families and traditions. I was able to get through this time without a second thought, as I was blessed to be around some friends from home. January flew by as only a week and a half after returning from Christmas break we were on winter break for another two weeks. Having made it through 5 months with little upset, I thought I was home free. I believed that this so called low point was something I would not have to experience.
Once I returned from winter holiday the emotions hit, and they hit hard. Not a day went by (for probably about two weeks) that I didn't break into tears for a good portion of the morning. I found myself feeling extremely lonely, stressed, angry and also a bit ill. These emotions mixed all together are very overwhelming. Each day I thought about how long it was going to be before the day ended, much less the year. I lost interest in things I enjoyed and was not even motivated to eat very much. So you could say, I was in a small state of depression. In addition I felt as though I was no longer making an impact here
Feeling hopeless, I found myself drawn to spend more time in God's word! I knew that no matter how I was feeling He could truly help me out. It is amazing what those words did for me. After spending time with God I was able to get through the rest of my day with little problem. I started to feel more positive about the time left. During this time I kept saying that I just needed to make it until the spring. God presented Poland with an amazing gift of SUNSHINE. Even though it is still winter we have been blessed with some great vitamin D filled rays of sunlight. Events happening back home also reminded me of how important our lives are, and how we need to live every moment to the fullest. Rather than thinking about why I was sad, I started to find little things about each day that I could get excited about. From seeing certain students, to thinking of places in town I could visit I felt joy come back into my life.
Though hitting a low point is not something I am particularly found of, I am thankful for all parts of this journey. If it wasn't for this period in my time here, I would not have been reminded of how crucial God is to our over all well being. He is SO powerful and so strong. Life and everything in it have nothing on our great God! During my study I found a few Bible verses that I found very encouraging. Isaiah 43:2 reminds us that, yes we are going to go through hard times, but that God is going to see us through each step of the way. Joshua 1:9 reminds us that God has called us to be strong and courageous. God is on our side, and no matter where we go He is continually with us. He does not want us to give up or give in, He is the ultimate fighter and with Him we cannot be destroyed.
I can say in full confidence that my hope, joy and strength have been restored. Of course I still long for the great days of summer when I will be reunited with friends and family back home, but I have also returned to cherishing the days that I have left here.
God has shown me in a few ways during the past month that I am here for a reason and that He is using me to make a difference. During this month I have learned that it is ok to not always be aware that you are making a difference, but what a blessing to be reminded. In one of the classes I have been substituting for, I had the opportunity to talk with them about God. These moments are golden. Although teaching that class on top of all the other classes I have was quite stressful, God showed me that He had me teaching them for a reason. This week there were a few hiccups in which I was unable to get some materials I needed for a class. I didn't find this out until a few minutes before class was to begin. For a moment I was angry and slightly panicked, but then I was reminded to pray. I asked God to help me with the class and to help it go smoothly. The work I am doing is God's work and He is in control. This being said, it will not fail. My class went just find and I was remind that I need to trust in God. As I am allowing Him to use and work through me, what happens in the class room will not end up a disaster. Time with students has reminded me of how much I care about them, and also that they care about me. All of this means that we have had an impact on each others lives. That not only have they impacted me, but that I have also had some sort of an impact on them. I have created relationships that I hope will last for an eternity.
Yesterday I was talking with the director about the people who were coming next year. It is crazy to think that the time I have here is racing by. I want to make sure that I cherish every moment and opportunity I have left with the people of Poland. Though I may be able to visit in the future, this is truly a once in a life time opportunity. God has truly had a part in orchestrating this year. Each little thing happened for a reason, to enjoy or to learn a lesson over. I have been greatly blessed to be a part of something so beautiful. There are about three months left in the school year. Three months left to continue making a difference in the lives of these individuals.
No matter where we go in life we can make a difference. We can let God work through us. It is important to not forget that He is in ultimate control. No matter what the circumstances, everything is going to work out and we are going to be ok. I truly hope that I have made a positive impact on the lives here. This experience is one I will never forget, and I hope that they will remember me and our friendship. I hope that they are able to see Jesus in me and that they will never forget HIM.